I mentioned last Friday that this post by Gary Lamb had really spoken to an issue I was wrestling with. Here is the deal. I have done a lot of reflecting on the last 3 years at Mt. Horeb and am blown away by all that God has accomplished. I am so thankful that I have gotten to experience what He has done. We have seen a large number of salvations, the youth ministry has almost tripled in size and we have watched students rise up in leadership with a passion for God to use their lives. One group of girls began a ministry called H20 to raise money to build wells in Africa, and so far God has used them to build two wells with the third on the way. One senior guy began a campus ministry at his private school which has exploded as students came to faith in Jesus. I have seen high schoolers graduate and immediately become small group leaders to invest in other students and others who are making a big difference on their college campus. I love seeing our teenagers actually make their faith their own when they get away from youth ministry and off to college! The group of volunteers I have gotten a chance to do ministry with are amazing, and their hearts bleed for these students. They have encouraged and challenged me more than they will ever know.
The thing that gets me, though, is that with all that I have seen God do I can think that I have been a failure as a youth pastor because of the student that we invested in for years, and then all of a sudden they drop out because someone didn’t say the right thing to them or call them when they didn’t show up one time. Or the person I thought was going to rise up in leadership who decides that they don’t want the responsibility. Or the teenager who says that they didn’t feel welcome when you and countless other leaders met with them one on one to deal with various struggles they were having, and whenever they were at youth group everyone let them know how happy they were to see them. Am I saying we did everything right, or that I was perfect as a youth pastor? By all means – NO! I have made so many mistakes, and I have basically been learning on the job for three years. I am a worship leader who has been trying to figure out what it means to be a youth pastor. Thankfully, God loves to use people who have no clue what they are doing but know that they need Him.
My point here is that I tend to take my eye off of the countless things I should be celebrating and instead focus on the few things that I had no control over and that can steal my joy. There are times I could have made that extra phone call, and maybe should have, but I know that my job was to empower other people for ministry and I can’t bear the weight of every choice that every one of our students makes. I have to trust the sovereignty of God in their lives, and recognize that we are just one piece of what God is using in their spiritual development. The thought that everyone’s well-being depends on me is actually very prideful, and the enemy can use that discourage me and make me ineffective. So I choose to rejoice in what God has done, learn from the mistakes I have made and cast off the “what-ifs” that I can’t do anything about. Ignite, my faith is forever strengthened by the mighty move of God I have witnessed over these last three years, and it is just the beginning of what He desires to do in and through you.
You serve with integrity and diligence like no other person I know Wade. Your faithfulness has allowed God to do great things through you at the Horeb. I can only imagine the things he'll do now that you pointing towards your true passion. You nevalose!!
Posted by: Will Troutman | June 13, 2007 at 02:44 PM
Dude, I totally feel the same way! Sometimes I forget that this is God's ministry, not mine, and He's leading me to do the best I can. Any positive results that come are a working of His Holy Spirit, not my ministry strategies or whatever.
Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: Tim | June 17, 2007 at 01:23 PM